All Kinds of Problems

When this one friend of mine tells me about a problem she just dealt with, she often ends it with, "But it's ok, everybody has their shit."  While that may not be my go-to description, it's so true.  Everybody has things they deal with, including me and you.  Not all of those things are bad, but we tend to compare our lives more when we're dealing with stressful situations. The very important thing to realize. One time I was talking to another girl friend I'm very close to. I told her about a tough situation my best friend was dealing with and then something else unrelated that I had going on. It basically came down to "I feel terrible that my friend had such a rough day and I'm over here complaining about a dumb boy or getting a bad grade on a test."  My good friend responded with "I'm sorry for your friend too, but you should never compare yourself to other people and think your problems don't matter."  Although I'm sure some form of this advice had been given to me before, it was just what I needed to hear.  I realized, or was reminded, that even though some people around me are struggling and stressing over something is actually a bigger issue that what I have going on, my life and my problems still matter and are not a waste of time or conversation.

When I'm chatting with friends or even just listening to the news, hearing the word "problem" automatically triggers the question in my head "How can I fix it?" or "How can I make things better?" ... Sometimes that is the best response. Sometimes the more appropriate and helpful response is to just be present and take things one step at a time.  Sometimes bits of both are the way to go.  When something tragic, unexpected, or just plain sad happens, we tend to focus on that.  We think, "How can I care about little things when there are so many worse things happening?"  My response to that is, "How can you not?" When bad things happen around us, I see that as an added reason to pay attention to things we care about and people who need us and give a little time, money or energy to them.  For me, one of those outlets is children, specifically sick children, and the way I help is through USC Dance Marathon.

       (Feel free to check it out at events.dancemarathon.com and search Jo Jo)

This purpose of this post isn't to teach a lesson; like I said, I'm just reflecting and digging through my own consciousness. If you did learn something about your friends or about yourself, that's awesome!  You're awesome.  One thing I want to highlight is this: there are times (most of the time, in my opinion) when we need to put others before ourselves- this includes our friends, family, and other people in general.  It's rewarding, selfless, and just plain good-natured to do that.  However, there are moments when looking out for ourselves is the right thing to do. I won't get into examples, but I think it's important to remember no matter how much time and energy we invest in other people and causes, our own personal problems and needs matter.  They shouldn't be swiftly swept under the rug until we have time and energy left to deal with our own lives.